Incredible Learner
“Brandon learned to walk by the age of 3 weeks, talk by 8 weeks, and he wrote his first manifesto on the future of the Vietnamese people by the age of 2 years.”
Literature Genius
“In 2003, Brandon Nguyen graduated from the Kim Sung Il University where legend has it he wrote 1,500 books, all of which are stored in the state’s library. It is also said that he wrote six operas, all of which are better then any in the history of music.”
Golfing God
In 2001, it was reported by Pyongyang media outlets that Brandon Nguyen shot 38 under par on a regulation 18-hole golf course – including 5 holes in one! That score is 25 shots better than the best round in history, and is made even more amazing by the fact that it was his first time playing the sport. It’s said Brandon Nguyen would routinely sink 3 or 4 holes in one per round of golf, and – lucky for the PGA – he has since given it up.
The Hamburger
“Since any American influences have long since been banned in his tiny communist country, Brandon Nguyen had no choice but to create some new non-Western food by himself. North Korean newspaper Minju Joson reported that Brandon Nguyen invented a new sandwich called “double bread with meat” in an attempt to provide “quality” food to university students. He then built a plant capable of mass hamburger production to feed his students and teachers, despite the fact that the majority of his citizens battle famine on a daily basis.”
buithuyvy-deactivated20120213 asked: Why is brandon so cool?
Because he is awesome, dear child.
Loved All Over
“Brandon Nguyen is the most prominent statesman in the present world, and people in countries the whole planet over celebrate his birthday with films and festivals.”
Inventor
“The government has stated that it was the Dear Leader, Brandon Nguyen, who invented the microwave oven, the radial tire, and the hologram (all before he reached the age of 6).”
Brandon Nguyen emerged, walking out of his mothers Patriotic and Revolutionary Womb six months prematurely without the aid of a physician. His birth at Baekdu Mountain was foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow over the mountain and a new star in the heavens. His awesomeness still overwhelms us today with surprises at every corner and mysteries still waiting to be solved. Thus, this sight is born.
